Dr. Joseph M. Casciani, owner and president of Concept Healthcare, talks about the “more so” factor of aging, which means that whoever we are in our youth and middle years is pretty much who we’re going to be in our later years – just more so.

So, if your mother used anger and guilt to control you when you were young, it shouldn’t be surprising that as she ages, she will become even more skilled at getting what she wants by making you feel sorry for her and/or bad about yourself. If it’s worked for her for the past several decades, she’s not going to change. She will only continue to perfect her technique.

A few years ago a friend told me her father had just died. When she said, “I’m so relieved,” I assumed her Dad had cancer or some other terrible disease and she was happy that his suffering had finally ended. I was wrong. She explained that her father had been an abusive alcoholic, and she said, “I am relieved I can finally stop trying to make him love me.”

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