Are Family Members Interfering With Your Home Care Plan?

Family Caregivers in Rolesville, NC

As a family caregiver for your elderly parents, making the right decisions regarding your parents’ care is an important part of your daily life. You put thought, energy, and effort into evaluating their physical, medical, cognitive, and emotional needs, and establishing the care arrangements that will meet those needs in the way that is best for them as well as you. For many seniors, this means starting a home care relationship. Having a referred caregiver as part of your senior care team can mean giving your elderly loved ones additional social interaction, transportation, and physical assistance to supplement the care you give, resulting in a well-rounded, supportive network of care to give them a consistent high quality of life.

While establishing a home care plan is a fantastic way to meet your parents’ ongoing needs while also making sure that you can attend to your own needs such as caring for your children, spending time with your spouse, and managing your career, the arrangement can become challenging when family members start to interfere with the plans you put into place.

Dealing with conflicts with your siblings and other family members is common when it comes to caring for elderly adults. People have different perceptions of the type of care seniors should receive and may disagree with the decisions you have made for your parents. If those family members are unable or unwilling to be a part of the care, however, you could face the frustration of them telling you what you should do without making any valuable contribution to the care arrangement. Even more frustrating is when those family members go “over your head” to interfere with your arrangements. Recognizing when this happens and addressing it promptly helps to prevent problems with your parents’ care relationship and ensure they continue to receive the level of care they deserve.

If you are coping with family members who are interfering with your home care plan, use these tips to address the situation, resolve the conflict, and protect your care arrangements:

• Recognize the interference. Pay attention to your parents’ care and listen to things they say about what happens when you are not around. Notice if they mention things about the family members such as them showing up unannounced, them telling the referred caregiver not to do things you have told them to do, taking over care tasks for the referred caregiver, or changing plans you have made.
• Establish open communication. Express your concerns, without being aggressive or critical of the family members, with the referred caregiver. Tell them about the conflicts you have noticed and that you worry about the family members trying to interfere with your arrangements. Ask them to let you know if those family members try to change or affect the care plan and to discuss any issues they notice with you.
• Have a meeting. Confront the interference head-on by having a family meeting. Tell the family members what you have noticed about their behavior and the ways you think they are interfering with your care. Explain why this is a problem and how you need them to change their behavior to ensure proper quality of care for your seniors. Tell them that if they have a problem with the decisions you make that they need to put forth more of an effort in the care without going behind your back.
• Prevent interference. Tell the family members directly what they can and cannot do in terms of your parents’ care. For example, if you have planned an outing for your seniors and their referred caregiver, make sure the family members know they are not permitted to step in and tell the referred caregiver they do not need to go, or arrive at the home and change the plans. Being upfront about their interference shows the family members that you are serious and establishes you as the lead of your parents’ care.

The articles posted on this blog are provided for general information and discussion purposes only.  These articles are not intended to suggest anything with respect to the operations or services of this office.